“Hey, you look friendly.”

There it is, now go use it.

But let me preface this first by talking about openers, or ‘pick-up lines.’ When I started cold-approaching 5 years ago, I had no idea how to start up a conversation with a stranger, period. Seriously, that goes for both girls and guys. As an introvert, and a generally shy guy, I tried to avoid interactions with new people unless I was introduced by a friend, in the same room as someone else, or let’s be honest, if I was drunk and experiencing a bit of liquid courage. My heart would start racing, my armpits would get sweaty (my buddy who does pickup still gets really sweaty palms when he approaches), and I’d freeze up.

As I progressed through my game journey, rambling became easier and the opening statements I could point out about a girl began to flow more quickly. However, I always wondered if there was bulletproof opener that you could use in any situation, at any time of the day or night. You can almost always go direct and let a girl know your intent right off the bat, but sometimes you might not be in the mood to go full-on aggressive, or you quite frankly can’t think of a compliment/tease (brain-freeze).

Telling a girl she looks friendly is a foolproof way to engage her and elicit  a response. In the daytime, you can stop a girl and tell her she looks friendly and that she has some sort of positive energy that intrigued you and made you decide to come say hi. When you tell a girl you thought she looked “cute” or something else directly sexual, it sometimes, if not delivered with strong presence and confidence, can lead to a girl blowing you out or immediately using the classic boyfriend excuse. The “You look friendly opener” is direct enough to get her attention and evoke a response, but soft enough that she is likely to engage you.

It works incredibly well at night as well. I often approach a set and open with something like, “Hey, I thought you looked really friendly, I had to come over and say hello.” After she responds, I might add, “I hope my first impression was accurate. Are you as friendly as you look, or was I terribly mistaken and you’re actually the most cold-hearted girl at this bar?”

This opener also works with groups of girls. Sometimes it can be tough to open a group by going direct on your target while trying to gain approval of her friends. Instead, try approaching the entire group with a smile and opening with, “Hey, I was looking around and thought you guys look like the friendliest people here.” Then, after you introduce yourself, address your target by questioning if she’s really the ‘bad girl’: “I’m guessing she’s the angel (point at her friend) and she’s the devil (target).” You’ll likely get some laughs and hopefully a response from one or more of the girls. If they are cool, you’re in and can begin chatting up the girl you like, first asking her how they all know each other, then telling her the honest reason you approached the group – because you thought she was cute. Lowering the shield of a group can be tough, but this one of the most effective ways to do it.

When in doubt, everyone “looks friendly.” Remember that and bust it out when you’re feeling in the zone or when you have no idea what to say. Try it out and let me know what you think…

Leave a Reply