For the past several months, I’ve been feeling as though I’ve hit a plateau. I split up with my girlfriend who I dated for just under a year, and since then haven’t been pleased with the consistency or quality of my results with women.
Relationship game is totally different than the game needed to approach girls in bars or during the day, so I shouldn’t have been surprised at how rusty my game was after the breakup. Everything seemed off and while I’m still meeting and dating new chicks, my constant improvement has slowed down. For the past couple years, I’ve always felt that the more you are out there approaching, the more you are able to fine-tune your social skills and continuously improve.
At some point though, those skills begin to level off and you start feeling like you’re doing the same thing over and over again without better results. That’s why the first few months of learning daygame and getting your boots on the ground can be so incredible – you transition from being too frightened to approach a girl on the street to all of a sudden pocketing numbers, getting dates and sleeping with girls you previously assumed were out of your league.
Here are 2 remedies to breaking through a plateau and continuing to improve yourself:
- Never stop learning. Many of us in the game community say to practice 80% of the time and study theory 20% of the time. That means your game efforts should mostly be infield. Lots of guys spend way too much time reading blogs about game and self-improvement without actually trying to improve on those skills in real life. On the other hand, once you’ve achieved much of (or even a little) of the success you envisioned for yourself, it’s crucial to keep learning from new sources as well as reviewing old material. The brain forgets easily and in order to stay polished and retain old information you need to revisit it from time to time. For me that means picking up some of Roosh V’s travel books and re-reading them, or watching Tom Torero on YouTube. It’s great to see other coaches and instructors in the field and to take a look at what works well for them. I’ve taken advice from countless other ‘experts’ and use them to help my own game. Without first studying the work of Steve Jabba, guys like Nick Krauser etc. I would have never gotten to be where I am today. Continue reading books/blogs, listening to audio, and watching the best daygamers in the world approach because you will constantly pick up new tools and recognize patterns that will help you improve your own game.
- Pick something specific you want to improve, that you believe will increase women’s attraction for you. That means working as hard as you can to improve what you have personal control over. What are we talking about? That might mean working out more, eating better, making more money at work or transitioning into a field that will better contribute to your financial success, reading books or learning about current events to become more ‘world-aware’ and have more interesting topics to discuss on dates. For me, it’s getting physically bigger. That’s my current focus. I’ve been skinny my entire life and had problems with heavy lifting due to disc issues in my thoracic spine. Recently I started working with a solid personal trainer who’s helped me develop a workout routine that doesn’t put too much stress on my spine. Gaining mass takes time and I expect to see some decent gains over the next year or two. Being more muscular is something that I know girls will find attractive and it’s something that I personally have complete control over. There are always opportunities to make progress with your goals and it’s your job to identify areas you need to strengthen and take control of making it happen.